It had been a long day. 

I was tired.

Jet lag in Germany. Maybe two hours of sleep. Followed by a full day in the air.

But I was in Birmingham now. 

All I had to do was drive an hour south to Tuscaloosa and I would finally — blissfully — be home.

It wasn’t quite rush hour yet. But traffic was already building up. 

I was jammed up over in the left lane. 

There was nowhere to go on a tight, curvy, old, and outdated section of interstate that should have been modernized 20 years ago.

And then, suddenly, there she was.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted her over in the far-right lane: Coming up the on-ramp way too fast and aggressively lining up to merge onto a very busy I-20/59.

Enter the White Ford SUV

And as soon as I saw her, I knew she was going to be trouble.

I said to myself, This exceedingly rude and selfish young woman is driving extremely aggressively and erratically — and I believe she is going to attempt to cut in front of me in an unsafe manner! *

And sure enough, she bullied her way into the right lane, causing the driver of the vehicle next to me to slam on their brakes — and then kept right on coming over in front of me.

I knew full well she was going to do it. 

And I was determined to keep her ass over in the right lane. 

But she was too quick. I had no choice but to stomp on the brakes to keep from rear-ending her as she shoehorned her way in between me and the car I was following

Of course, I immediately did what any reasonable person would: I laid down on the horn, flipped her off with both hands and proceeded to dog-cuss her ass, her ancestors and her descendants all the way down into the seventh level of hell itself.

And naturally -- because this young woman is clearly both insane and has the intellect of a turnip -- she somehow decided all of this was somehow my fault. 

So, she rolled down her window and proceeded to flip me off in return.

She also tried a couple of brake-checks. 

But I was clearly dealing with an amateur. 

So, I was more than ready for that shit.

She was driving so wildly, that a couple of times I seriously thought she was going to go nose-first into the concrete barricade.

Of course, I was silently rooting for that to happen.

Because it would serve her right.

But alas, she seemed to understand the fundamentals of operating a motor vehicle just well enough to keep from going into the wall at the absolute last second possible. 

Ah, well. You can’t win ‘em all... 

Now, like I said: It had been a LONG day.

So, as pissed off as I was, I at least had the presence of mind to know that I damn sure didn’t want to get in a car wreck at the tail-end of a 30-hour day coupled with a trans-Atlantic flight.

And I wasn’t all that interested in chatting with the Alabama Highway Patrol for a couple of hours, either.

So I backed off and tried to let her go on her way – hoping that Karma would put a police cruiser a few miles up the road. And that an officer of the law would note her extraordinary driving abilities and take the opportunity to discuss them with her. 

But – you know how traffic is. No matter what, I always seemed to catch back up to her. 

Which just made her even angrier. 

So we spent a few more miles making sure we both clearly understood how much we loathed one another and wished for nothing but bad things to happen to each other for the rest of our lives. 

We waved at each other with our middle fingers some more.

And I am happy to report that she is apparently able to read lips with a high degree of accuracy.

But, eventually, she finally exited the Interstate to head out into the boonies so she could get to her home and use her sparkling personality to make everyone inside of it miserable for the rest of the evening.

What Would the Robot Do?

I got home without any further incidents.

I kissed Christina, grabbed a beer and let the dogs calm me down.

And after a bit, I got to thinking about my highway encounter with that remarkable young woman. 

The first thing that struck me is how amazing it is that my brain instantly picked up on her as a threat the second she entered my line of sight.

There are a lot of cars on that dangerous, jam-packed section of road. It was nearly rush hour. Which meant there were a lot of impatient drivers jostling for position, changing lanes and trying to break out of the pack so they could get home.

In short – it was controlled chaos.

We all do it every day.

And yet – in all of that, my brain knew right away that she was dangerous and was going to be a problem. Before she had even merged onto the main highway, in fact.

AI is remarkable. So I suppose one day it’s possible that autonomous vehicle systems will be able to key in on subtle behavior clues and do threat assessments on the same level as a human brain.

But we’re a long way away from that, right now.

I’m the first to admit I didn’t handle that situation as well as I could have. 

But, on the other hand, it could have been much worse.

The fact that things get out of hand was mainly due to the fact that I was worn out and didn’t have the energy for a full-blown fight with that woman.

But on another day…?

In another frame of mind…?

Things could have escalated rapidly.

But not with a computer.

It would have simply backed off, let her merge, and go on her way.

And instantly forgot all about her.

It’s interesting.

Because human drivers clearly do some things better than a computer can.

But computers clearly react to some potentially dangerous situations better than a lot of humans do. 

Myself included.

And I think this is the point that autonomous vehicle and advanced safety system developers keep driving home: We are at a point where technology can help us overcome our shortcomings and be safer. 

Provided we’re willing to use it.

_{* That’s not exactlywhat I said to myself. But you get the general idea.}